Let me set the scene for you. The previous hour and a half, I had tried repeatedly, I might add to get the kids in gear. Today, we were going to a nearby city to pick up the rest of my sons Cub Scout uniform. We needed to leave at a certain time, in order to be home to have lunch with Daddy. It is our custom to leave the house tidy whenever we leave, so it is inviting when we return. This morning, chores seemed to drraaaggg out. We left about 30 minutes later that I had planned to.
Bags were packed up, the tantrum from my youngest subsided, and off we went. The older two brought their individual studies with them. This is not a daily occurrence; however, today was an exception. We had a 45 minute drive in front of us, one way, and I thought we would make good use of it.
Ten minutes into the drive, my daughter loudly exclaimed “I LOVE Homeschool!” Can you imagine my surprise, as I am rounding a curve? My immediate thought was something was wrong, until my brain had time to process what had been said. Do my ears deceive me? Did I just hear that come from the back seat? I turned around, and asked, “Really?”
The question I posed comes from my interpretation of what has been happening over the last few weeks. It has seemed to me at least, for some reason she and I have been butting heads a little lately. Well, if you must know the truth, it has been a lot. Now, you may understand my surprise. “Did she just say she LOVED homeschool?”
My daughter proceeded to tell me why, as did my oldest son, who just turned 7. I would like to share with you their thoughts. My daughter’s reasoning for her love of homeschool is this: “she gets to spend more time with Mama.” That was her number one reason, at least for today. My heart continues to find comfort in those words, even tonight as I am writing this. Of course, she had other reasons, but none stood out to me as much as that one.
I have often wondered how much damage I had inflicted on her. Debating if my decisions were ruining her. And with the flood of her adolescent emotions, I have questioned many more things, (like is this really MY child?). My greatest fear is that my children would learn all the wrong things from me. And unfortunately the have learned their share of “bad” habits, just by being with me all day long. I have feared that I would prove to be a hypocrite, and that it would somehow taint their relationship with God, each other and me.
I once heard a quote that goes something like this: Our children are monuments of how we spend our time. The thought of any truth to that intimidates me, while at the same time, inspires me. Let me share now, what my son said,
“I love homeschool, because, I get to learn about God, and no one will stop me from praying, and of course, I get to be with Mama.” Wow!
My reason for homeschooling was not because I thought I could do a better job. It wasn’t because I am a certified teacher, let alone anything else. My only certification is this; I am a sinner, saved by grace. My reason for homeschooling goes beyond cursive Q’s and algebra. Daily, my children have ample opportunity to see one of two things. They observe daily how to sin and how to walk in grace. Understand, my children, as are yours, are watching at all times.
I fail innumerable times a day, and I have an audience, not just of One. Yet, here I am amazed at beautiful grace, at work and evident in my children’s lives, again. My greatest desire for my children is not a dollar amount, collage acceptance, or any other tangible thing. My greatest desire for my children is this: That they know Christ intimately and live a life pleasing to Him. That they learn how to glorify God and enjoy Him. That is why I homeschool. That is why I love and at times really dislike homeschool. I am a sinner, at times receiving grace and walking in it, while other times I sit stubbornly in my sin. Yet, at all times I am teaching, and learning with my children for life.
Today, chaos and all, was a wonderful day. I am thankful for the reassuring words that gently smacked me in the face. I needed that. And without even asking, I was granted it, in a most unexpected way.
So, be encouraged. You may not get reassurance everyday. Sometimes, it comes at the most insignificant times, unexpectedly. Just know this; you are making a difference in the lives of your children. Regardless if you can gauge it today or not, it will be made apparent, and more than likely when you least expect it. More is sinking in, than you may ever know, and not just academically. Just keep on keeping on. One day at a time. Receive your grace for the moment and enjoy today.